RAW

Our souls were lifted together. All the pain is our hearts dwelled, and our walls fell apart all at once. I cried and then watched her cry and that broke me. I always knew I had hurt her more than I could understand, but it was only then that I saw all the pain that she’d been stifling inside, accumulating over the years, and I realised what a failure I’d been. She told me, with tear-filled eyes of hers, struggling to be understood, choking on her words, that she was sorry. Sorry for everything that I had to go through alone, sorry for all that she didn’t and couldn’t do for me, sorry for not knowing, sorry for being helpless.

I never wanted her to feel the guilt for all she thought she’d never done, all I wanted was for her to realise all that she did do for me, for I am nothing but thankful. No matter how difficult the situation was I would never have wanted it any other way, because it changed me in so many ways I could never explain. It was never about pushing the blame, or who was right and who wasn’t, it was never about who was the bigger person in this or about ‘winning’ the argument. Instead, it was everything about listening and understanding, and how well we walked through the fire since at the end of the day, the other party matters more than anything else in the world. It took me 17 years to understand the fact that things fall, it’s gravity, and it’s okay.

It was an overwhelming hour of walls being stripped down, and our true selves emerging. We poured our hearts out in between tears and there wasn’t any ounce of fear left in us. There were no filters, no facades, just us, raw, purely and truthfully human. It’s not everyday that you get to truly converse with someone, the littlest of things in life that we seem to have forgotten about, the true essence of human interaction.

As we learnt to open up, it hit us that we really needed that to find closure. It ended with a hug as our bodies eased into one another. I focused on how our breathing was in sync, we were becoming one. It was all sudden, not one breath could take how much it altered our lives, as we relied on each other for the comfort that we’ve been seeking for years, relieving ourselves with the idea of the future being brighter than it has ever been; because even the darkest nights will end, the sun will rise, and we can try all over again.

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